"Hey you look really interesting"
WOW FUXK YOU
"and I like that you posted 'But It's Better If You Do"
yeah I grew up on the classics
and I never played in traffic
but I like a guy with more tact
than a Facebook chat
now you're liking all my pics
and you're faving all my tweets
and oh you follow Diplo too?
I guess that's kinda neat
but honestly I don't care
if you're feeling #rare
you're not getting to my heart
through your deviantART

Cuz I'm looking for someone to share affection
not just a strong internet connection
to sing "Girls Love Beyoncé" to
and watch Beast Wars with when I feel blue

To be fair man
you're not really my type
like I wouldn't be surprised if you couldn't ride a bike
oh we met at that show?
oh that's right you were the JERK
who was talking the whole time I was watching Mikey Erg
so don't talk about videos, 90's alt-rock trios
or high school obsessions with Panic! At The Disco
cuz honestly I almost BARFED tonight
when you messaged me and asked
"hey baby do you wanna Skype?"

Cuz I'm looking for someone to share affection
not just a strong internet connection
to sing "Girls Love Beyoncé" to
and watch Beast Wars with when I feel blue

[blah blah blah blah]

I like sleeping in and Pacific Rim
I like my record collection and One Direction
I like pugs cuz they're small and I love Jake Gyllenhaal
I like Blink-182 but I don't like you

I love Adam Levine!
and Morrissey!
I love my furby!
I love a lot of things!
I like Ke$ha and tea!
I love MTV!
I like T. Swift and Miley too!
but I don't like you

[Drake plays quietly in the background]